i'm a white writer. in new york. original, no? i've been blogging since october 2002. this blog picks up in october 2008, when i moved from DC to NY...(and then I moved to Maine in 2012)

Friday, February 27, 2009

CLICKWORTHY: How do people not know this?

It depresses me a little how surprised people seem that this goes on.

BAGEL SIGHTING: Dammit. I used to be so good with names.

Saw one from one of my fave Law & Order SVU episodes.

Saw another who's the regular commentator on health topics for all the NBC news outlets.

I WISH THEY WORE NAMETAGS!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Tweetables: Join the cult, already.

In case you don't know, I'm on Twitter like a jackrabbit, dancin' 'round that hole.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

This is a test

Posting from my iPhone, Priscilla.

All I can think to say is that, often--daily, actually--I don't think
there's a point to saying much of anything at all.

There are no words for the important stuff.

I'm not lonely, but ever since I was very young, I've been very aware
of how deeply isolated we all are, of how meaningless our lives are
and how we scramble to assign meaning; and I think with each play I
write, I'm trying to find a way to be more resolved to that idea,
because I want to tell people that I think it's beautiful.

Friday, February 20, 2009

BAGEL SIGHTING: Red Alert

There are bagel-wranglers everywhere, and new velvet ropes in the elevator banks. Then they shut down the commissary while we were in it for a Very Important Meeting.

Something's going down.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tweetables

If all parents were qualified, there would be no art in the world.

I am excelling at that thing that people do when they first move to New York. It's called exhaustion.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Tweetables

I dreamt I won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for a 90-second part in a film. My acceptance speech: "This is ridiculous. I'm a playwright."

Then I accidentally walked into a men's latrine.

BAGEL SIGHTING: Crap, I'm not allowed to say.

So working at the Peacock I see my fair share of bagels. I stopped mentioning it every single time because, well, that would be obnoxious.

I will say most bagels are much tinier in person than on TV.

So I was working late last night at 30 Rock (and by "working" what I really mean is deleting my Facebook stuff), and someone stopped by to tell me I should go down to the floor where they're rehearsing this thing that I can't tell you about if I want to keep my weird little job. So I went and stood in the back. Next to a bagel who clearly did not want to be recognized.

Once it airs I can tell you about it.

But it was cool.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

CLICKWORTHY: Facebook's Fiery Death

Just spent the evening rather melodramatically deleting every status update, blog import, photo from my Facebook account. Then I emailed every single of my 545 friends before deleting them as well.

Why?

It came to light over the weekend that earlier this month, Facebook changed its Terms of Service. I learned of this Sunday night from Sasha Frere Jones on Twitter, with further elucidation from Mashable.

Now it turns out, there is a formal Federal complaint being filed against Facebook this week.

Yesterday, the NY Times online chimed in.

WebTechLaw gave their opinion on the legalities.

And Amanda French crafted a detailed comparison on the various TOS agreements of the biggest social sites.

My first stand-up gig.

I'm working on how to upload the video to Youtube or Blogger. (It's an avi file and I need to convert it to another type of file.) It's hard to hear me, I'm washed out, you can totally tell I wore the wrong kind of bra, and apparently I ate a hippopotamus right before going on stage.

The text of my routine:

So I just moved to New York City.

Yeah, which is awesome but it's also like entering an abusive relationship. Actually, it's more like entering an S&M relationship. And there's paperwork involved.

I moved from Washington DC and I'm so glad I got outta there before all this Obama mania happened, I mean I'm as liberal as the next intelligent person, but these people are like crazy, right? I mean, inauguration day, the ceremony, the ceremony was nice, right? They COULDA been all melodramatic and released white doves.

But they just released white guilt.

But the people? Twitter and Facebook were blowing up with these[crying] "omg he's so…I'm so…it's so…humanity."

All of a sudden all my friends became inarticulate teenage girls with a crush. But now that Barry's in office, they're acting all betrayed, like Oh He's Changed. He wasn't like this when we were dating. It's like a scene from He's Just Not That Into You.

I saw this coming. See, I've dated Barack Obama. Ok, I haven't DATED Barack Obama because that would be RIDICULOUS, but I've dated guys LIKE Barack Obama—rich, good-looking, smart, big penis, whatever—and I'm here to tell you, they're a bunch of lazy motherfuckers. Give me a nebbish guy any day. You got back hair? Bring it. 'Cause I know, YOU know, you're gonna have to WORK for it. But a guy like Barack Obama's all, Oh Baby I'm sorry I fell asleep. You just give such gooooood blow jobs!

Yeah. Takes a strong woman to regulate a Barack Obama. Michelle is a strong woman. This is how it went down, Michelle, she said: All right. Barry. I'll give up my two-hundred-seventy-five-thousand-dollar-a-year job. That I love. So you can follow your dream. That's one-point-one million dollars. Per term. But if I DO that baby, my mama's moving in with us, and YOU'RE giving ME a blow job tonight.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sometimes on the subway...

...very late at night, you see very drunk men in suits.

And sometimes, if you're really lucky, you see one vomit.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sleep is for pussies.

I have become one of those people who functions on four or five hours of sleep.

It is a very good thing that I no longer drive a car.

Took a LAByrinth two-day workshop this weekend and it was exactly what I needed. I used it to dive into a beginning for a piece that I plan on performing myself with a friend at DC Fringe '10.

Usually I know about 70% of what I'm doing when I sit down to start building a play.

This time I only knew about 20%--what she's saying and why she's saying it.

Anyway, I took a leap. I was on the verge of tears so many times during the class, because I felt so incredibly vulnerable. But I did it, and I shared my work, and I got what seemed to be a genuinely positive response, with a few people coming up to me afterwards to say how much it resonated with them. I half-expected people to be like wtf your piece is just too weird, which would have been fine, as negative opinions never really deter me from my goal, but encouragement is always a useful thing.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

THURSDAY SLICE: On outsourcing.

I need to hire someone to sleep for me. Should be fairly easy in this economy. They're paying people to sleep here.

Today: Regular job + corporate blogging, followed by my first stand-up gig.
Tomorrow: Meetings, then "Ruined" @ MTC.
Saturday: LAB workshop. Writing.
Sunday: LAB workshop. Juilliard reading.

But the most important thing is the 3 minutes of stand-up tonight. Not sure where I can practice beforehand--the restroom here at 30 Rock not so private.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tweetables

The janitorial engineer just spent about three minutes telling me that I should really have a better chair. I agree, but will do nothing about it.

My cat, IJ, says I'm ready for stand-up tomorrow night. I cut out the rape jokes--since my bad haircut from last week, I just don't have the confidence to pull them off.

I lost something like 6 pounds last week using my iPhone app Lose It.

I'm taking a solo performance material-generating workshop this weekend at LAByrinth.

I have a ton of friends in town this week, plus a bunch more coming to tomorrow night's gig

And I have a big conference call Friday with the retailer I'm doing corporate blogging for.

I'm stoked for all these things!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

EVENT: Stand-up!

WHO: Me
WHAT: A comedy show with me doing a whole minute of stand-up for the first time ever.
WHEN: This Thursday, Feb. 12, 7:30pm
WHERE: Downstairs @ Comix in Ochi's Lounge, 14th Street @ 9th Ave. NYC
DOLLAZ: No cover, 1-drink minimum
WHY: Because whether I turn out to be funny in person under bright lights with a mic in my hand, or whether I go down in flames, it's sure to be entertaining.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Tweetables

OMG I just figured out why Favorites on Twitter is so great.

Can you name something grosser than half of a leftover chicken pesto sammy exploding in your messenger bag? (And yes, I ate it. The first half had been too tasty not to venture reassembly.)

I am beginning to suspect that no one in NY actually has sex.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

BAGEL SIGHTING: Variety Pack

I inferred the four of them were bagels from the following:

they had guest IDs
they did not know how to scan their guest IDs
they seemed self-important ("...and that's why it's good to drink gin in the morning.")
they were highly groomed and expensively thin
their posture was that of people who wish to be photographed
they had exciting briefcases
they argued about who had more meetings scheduled
they discussed where the meeting for the pilot was, and
when they got off at the 7th floor, a young blonde woman with a clipboard who was waiting for them greeted them warmly yet deferentially.

But I did not recognize them.

THURSDAY SLICE: On Coming Out.

I'm outing myself.

As of yet, there is no actual mention of my real name on this blog, and I'd like to keep it that way, please, commenters (all two of you). But tonight I linked this blog to my website and Facebook page, and above is my Twitter feed.

So there.

I'm out.

I hope you like the new layout. I pruned prior entries and tags, and added a whole mess o' links on the sidebar: news outlets, blogs, etc. (I did that mostly for my own convenience, but I hope you find them useful, too.)

I'm very excited to get back in the swing of regular posts. My goal is to write one longer post each week, and that will become the new THURSDAY SLICE.

BUT FIRST,

I have six 8.5x11 sheets of to-do lists that I need to power through. It's all the accumulated detritus from when I wrote those 10 plays the last few years, remember? I'm gunning to get things like all my press archives together, show pics, fresh play sample PDFs, etc. all on my newly designed website.

Because I have two script deadlines in the coming months.

And I'm doing stand-up for the first time next Thursday.

I'm very motivated to get these items crossed off my list, so that the only things I will need to do are work, see theater, play with friends, and make things.

It's all part of my master plan.